色付いた花が咲く何時かを願う
その痛み知る君が震えずに水を注げた頃に
見た事の無い色の花がまた君を誘う
redberrie
19 +
04-06-1991
NP - BA - ISCM - 3S01
ex-assumptionknight
<33! |
Sunday, October 17, 2010
: 4:04:00 PM :
OHAIS. work work work. abit sian of it. stifling. tiring to be all guai and responsible. BLEARGHH. and i've been OT-ing for almost the past week. =w="" and it's tiring to have my gaze fixated on the comp screen whole day on weeny numbers. MEHH. i need some really awesome lazer eye ops NAO. anyways, im gonna get new specs with my pay next month. *sighs* i cant ever seem to save up.
this is an unproductive post. bye bye.
OH. and i think that companies that have the "+" within the company name are kinda sexy. hahahahs. wth me. 8DD but hey! it's COOL okays. :D like like NITRO + CHiRAL! Kuehne + Nagel! 8DD so next time if i ever set up a company. it'll have a "+" too! 8D
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, October 10, 2010
: 1:40:00 PM :
just saw shihui's blog.. her work desk looks so nice and comfy and feeling-ful and warm. and best of all, it doesnt have the feel 'that space is open for the whole world to see'.
anyways, i should spring clean my desk. it's still filthy in my opinion. the rack beside me is getting useful. but it's maggot dusty. shall try to reach earlier tmw to wipe. and also the desktop, keyboard and drawers.
and i need a new bag. currently using the bag eileen gave me. but since it's a rigid, unfoldable kind of bag; i cant keep it inside the bottom drawer. so have to put on the carpeted floor [which is prolly not that darn clean either]. either way, i dont like to put my stuff on the floor. thinking of buying the bag i saw quite quite a longg time ago selling in uniqlo. love the material. but i wonder whether do they still sell it. :(
need to bring calculator to work also. i dont feel safe to keep pressing my phone's calculator. and i dont like using the comp's calculator either. and i should bring clips clips to work to clip my stack of rough paper. and bring a stash of wasabi potato crackers to store inside the drawer. they perk me up when im madd sleepy.
and maybe i should bring my wu gui pencilcase to store my stationary and what not inside.
1) WIPE COMP & KEYBOARD, DRAWERS, RACK, TABLETOP, PHONE.
2) BRING CALCULATOR, SOME BULLCLIPS, PENCIL CASE, WASABI POTATO CRACKERS.
heavy heart is heavy heart.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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: 11:16:00 AM :
I've been crying
towards the irrational sky
Hate my fate
As my struggles seem to continue,
I decided
to reel in and collect these frail threads
Recklessly, I run towards tomorrow
Through the dark,
my steps are busy
For days, I remain lost in a broken world
All that I can believe in is anguish
That very belief should be just over that way
together with the light
The contending sadness is now of my faith
Even if my heart feels like its been gouged out
I don't stop my feet as I try to return back
No Moral (tv size) [Togainu no Chi ED] by Itou Kanako
English Translations by GG
fyi, im not god. i dont have a god-mode move speed damnit. god forbid ppl pass judgements on others before they're even had a few tries to improve. and i dont even know who's telling the truth and who's not. they all sound like lies. darned. this is all pretty much some shit masquerade party, yes?
whatever, cant wait for it to end.
but what im going to do when it ends? move on to another unsightly masquerade? i think i have no hope entering into uni with the way my marks are.
life seems to be hitting dead ends everywhere. and rock bottom crapp.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, October 03, 2010
: 9:16:00 PM :
HAI. FREAKKING FAMILY MADE ME SO SUPER DAMN ANGRY MAGGOT PISSED AGAINN.
srsly damn angry can! something really freakking wrong with the old man and the old woman's brains lahhhhhhhhhhh.
other than that matter that i am currently so so so pissed, yesterday when i was sleeping the old lady was asking about my pay when i was still sleeping. she ask me how much, then she asked me whether get my pay already, OF COURSE I SAID NO. then the next freakking thing; she was asking me to give $50 to the old man as petrol money when i get my pay. damn smart woman. that means TO BE FAIR TO BOTH MAGGOT SIDES, i need to give money to her also. and my pay for this month's only around $200. *after minus off the 5 days MC and the fact that attachment only started on 13 sept* so i need to fork out $100, then what? im left with $100 to survive 1 month!? and the old woman totally looks like she doesnt intend to give me any pocket money. damn smart. she thinks that i stock up that much cash is it! i dont get a maggot cent during holidays for my entire life; still paid for passport myself, paid for my phone myself, paid my spore phone bill for a few years already. honestly, you go outside and ask, whose family's child pays for these kinds of things themselves? and the 1st paycheck comes, the parents still demand for half the money!!!! freakking unreasonable!
no way in hell im giving. srsly. dont give birth so many kidds if you dont even have the finances and capability to bring them up properly.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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: 1:58:00 PM :
OHAIZ. WHY ARE MY HAKUOKI TORRENTS MOVING SO SUPER DARN SLOWWW. :C
other than that, if you're wondering why i was MIA from blogging/complaining about life on my blog.. that's cause i was admitted to hospital from the 20th - 24th sept due to dengue. I HATE MOSQUITOES. they should all just dropp down dead. ;;A;; in a sense, it's from one jail to another prison. the hospital is supppaaaa boring. NO INTERNET. DD: so i only had the company of some books. T_T""" and tv at night. and i was watching practically random lots of shows during nightime till around 12.30am. and yes, it's because i had trouble falling asleep in the hospital. the only cool thing is that you can watch tv on earphones. 8DD so i dont disturb anyone! :)
i reread The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. hmphh, and i remembered that why i didnt like reading it already! *and hence i only actually finish reading it ONCE during sec school* it talks too much about god and ermms, things that dont literally work in the real world. T_T"" there's too much of the 'yayy! let's just have the faith and we'll be okay!' vibe. hurr. then im halfway though reading The 5 People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom. so far, ive read until the part where eddie has met the 3rd person~ and the doctor very funny, he told me that he read that book before and then asked me who was the 1st person eddie met, and it's a person nicknamed 'the blue man'. and it so happened that the doctor was wearing a blue shirt and tie that day, then he said 'ah, that's why im so blue today'! LOL.
and hospital food tastes kinda strange. and i got sick of it after the 1st day. : and really had the need to purge the funny 'hospital feel' from myself, so on the day of discharge, i had triple cheeseburger for dinner! :D but i didnt really eat much of the fries and drink, cause kept having the 'quite full' kinda feel in my tummy. ><" and kept having the feel of being scared of eating fish, cause keep having some sort of imaginary phobia that the fish's very much with the fishy smell then will puke out the fish. but my appetite's fine now. :3
and work is LULZ. let's just say that i kinda understand better why jrockers wanna be jrockers cause maybe they dont wanna become a salaryman. :) and i have this fear. kinda scared that i'll someday be reduced to some walking corpse that just goes to work > come home > eat > sleep > *cycle repeats endlessly*. scared that i'll lose some part of myself, my 'spark'; in this stifling, always 'must behave yourself' environment. :\ it's just scary shit. that i cant really describe properly. ><" anyways, i wanna be a student againn. (*A*)
sorrys, i went off on a journey down memory lane. flipping through my VERY UNUPDATED stash of Hakuoki fanstuffyings. :D ahh, it's making me go gaga over the series all over againn. (*A*)
and im actually lazy to type anymore. HOHOHO.
okays, i should update the anime/manga department news cause i feel liek it. gonna follow Togainu no Chi, Tegami Bachi REVERSE, Hakuoki Hekketsuroku, Shinrei Tantei Yakumo for the Fall Season! :D and i've caught up with the latest chapters of Shiki manga! (*A*) ufufufu~ and Shiki anime will resume this week! awesome! :) wanna read up the Togainu no Chi manga! hahahs, but i already spoiled myself with the game's endings. XDD like Shiki best! of course right! he looks the hottest right! hahahs. >////<" hope the anime will go with the 1st wheelchair ending! even though it's heart-breaking, but it's a beautiful ending. ;;A;; or the ending where Akira can feel that Shiki is slipping away.. ><"
and im really lazy to write anymore. :) another time!
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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CREDITS |
-- HESITATING MEANS DEATH - the GazettE [Italian translation - angeldevil87@LJ]
[English translation - distressedcoma@LJ]
You, who know this pain, will soon plant the seeds here once again
You hope the flowers that changed their colours will bloom someday
You, who know this pain, could you pour water on them without trembling
The colourful flowers you have never seen are calling out for you again