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色付いた花が咲く何時かを願う
その痛み知る君が震えずに水を注げた頃に
見た事の無い色の花がまた君を誘う
redberrie
19 +
04-06-1991
NP - BA - ISCM - 3S01
ex-assumptionknight
<33! |
Monday, February 27, 2006
: 10:59:00 PM :
eee!! wee wee is a psycho! oh no. valerie, are you reading this? hushen? shinyi? eileen?? everyone??? oof. she needs to be quarantined. i say one. im the counsellor. in fact, everybody's counsellor. =] anyway, put her in the berry quarantined icu. makes everybody feel more secure heh. and her next door neighbour will be shirlene tieh who lives in the berry crackers icu. oof. haha. okay. she stop being psychotic liao. haha. can transfer her back. see? im a berry effective counsellor. =) haha.
im bored to tears and death during lessons. =( oof. xian arhh mann. oh btw, i've made a berry accurate and slightly altered obs list! =) okay, so open up your ears and listen up!! (->= sub with)
1. dun need to bring
- swim wear
- washing powder
- identity card -> ezlink
- plate -> 1 small messtin
- fire starters.
2. berry important stuffy-ings
- sunblock
- insect repellent
- powder! deodorant!
- lighter
- solid fuel ONLY. no fire starters.
- cotton twine
- money! to buy obs shirt. =]
haha. that's all. the rest just pack according to the list can liao. and please dun do silly things such as bringing a 1.5 litre water bottle there. haha. okay. that's all for today. but i berry tired. no brain energy to type. or think. oh, and did i mention that i had lyk 2 dreams about her last nite. it was alot mann. the first time actually. and all the images look and felt so berry real. im sure i do miss you alot. so much that even my sub-consious adknowledges it now. =] if only you knew..
10.20 pm 28.02.2006
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, February 25, 2006
: 11:31:00 AM :
harlo. im going bit crazy. emotionally. can switch here and there anytime. oof. already felt lyk breaking on last day of obs. it has totally nothing to do with how tough the course is. its just cause of me. myself. and i carn take my life anymore. there's a limit for everyone in everything. and my limit is reaching. really felt upset and frustrated by the pathetic life im leading. so sick of being neither here or there and just in the middle of nowhere. somewhere else in the wilderness. where i carn see anything. and nobody seems to be caring much bout me in a new environment.
kept on feeling sadd all the way to punngol jetty there, then soon heng came crapping away to me. and i crapped back. kinda felt better cause i can open my mouth to talk instead of keeping to myself. haha, thanks k. oh and he kept nagging me to go cca with him. and im lyk haha, okay you win lahh. went for cca. and i actually felt better after it. dun feel that much drifty temporarily. really made me felt belonged and happy. laughing together with my batchmates and sec 2's when alvin sir was training us drill. shouting and echo-ing cheers together when we did pt. complaining about sec1's irritating and qian bian attitude after bersurai. haha. =]
hmm, but come home then clear all my stuff away on that very day. then use the comp but my stoopid idiotuc er jie come home and made me get off the comp by force while i was talking to fishball. my er jie is so damn mean. i dun lyk her. went back into my room broke down and really cried berry berry hard. all the hard feelings this morning came rushing back. dunno why. my brain started forming stuff. and started to blame you for everything.
i dun care. i want to throw all the blame on you. who ask you not to care enough about me. why do you never take the iniative. is it that hard just doing that. must it always be me who does it. turning back to care for you and you never really seem to appreaciate it. does it kill just for you to take the iniative once to be the one who talks to me. im so sick of giving and giving and giving all day long. but at the end of the day again, i never get anything back from you. or anyone else. cause you always took me for granted. that i'll be the one forever be chasing you around for your comfort and reassurance. why must i let your actions control my life so much. why should what you do affect my emotions. im not your puppet. nor anybody elses'. and most importantly, after everything, why do i still care for you so much. why do i still do what i do. maybe it just all comes down again to this simple statement. i still lyk you.
what am i doing. hais, i dunno either. its just another random post again. hey, you please dont take what i typed seriously k. im just upset. upset over my life. sick sad and tired.
i lose my way
and its not too long before you point it out.
12.20 pm 25.02.06
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, February 19, 2006
: 9:34:00 PM :
hello!! can you believe it? its going to be obs tmw liao and i'll be gone for one whole week! haha. time really flies. during obs can trash everything into dustbin and wait for common test last three days of the term then recycle back into my brain. oh, and got beeeg beeg news to tell everybody! my english tuition mate, ivy, gave me a toy peguin keychain! cause last week i saw hers and said it was very cute. haha. shes so nice! must buy something back for her heh. haha. its now sitting on the comp table beside me. i lyk penguins! and dolphins too. =) eww! a bug fell on my head! no wonder feels itchy. reach up to scratch then accidentally kill it liao. muahaha. huo gai. who ask the buggy fall on my head. hmph.
blahh. my mom very irritating lehh. keep banging doors and throwing stuff around. she bad-tempered then bad-tempered lorhh. but can stop making everybody irritated too arnot. dunno whats her problem mann. she's almost lyk this everyday. and she even more bu shuang this weekend cause i going obs then need buy another pair of shoes for water activities and some other stuff. sighs. then she complaining no time to bring me buy, no time to mark her books, no time to set the question paper, no time this, no time that. and she has no time to communicate with me. haha. she's always liddat. hais, and she keeps insisting that i bring lots and lots of clothing to obs. crazy lorhh. i going camping for 5 days, not go abroad to goodness-knows-where for lyk 10 years or something. haha. she always she i bath very long, then if got fire i'll sure die one. then got fire she also sure die one k, cause she'll want to bring everything with her. haaha. joking joking. i'll learnt to filter and block all her insults liao. =)
hmm, got so much to say and blog about k. oh yarh, my haversack looks very round lyk a beeeg pillow! though not very huggable cause its hard. haha. i already very excited now liao. =] wee! oh and i quite surprised that everything managed to fit in. haha. i suppose that's that's why its called a haversack. hmm, my clothes are all stuffed inside ziplock bags. i find this method very good and effective heh. cause when you toss your things in the ziplock bag can squeeze all the air out then will save space! and can throw more things in your bag. haha. im so clever mann. =)) oh and i bringing my smaller messtin as plate and green mug as mug. actually my brother suggested use messtin one, for both eating and drinking. but i think its abit unconvenient heh since i want to bring one only. then cannot eat and drink at the same time. btw, the haversack and cotton twine is kindly sponsored by my brother one. so thanks heh. =] oof. my face feels damn oily. i go wash face awhile, wait arhh. very uncomfortable.
okay! done. =) feel oil-free currently. or else the oil on my face enuf to fry an egg liao. oh and according to eileen, my tagboard's going madd again. =( maybe i should change one. sigh. and i just told eileen that im not going to talk to her before obs. and im not gonna talk to her before common test either. dun want to affect my mood heh. no offense but i still lyk her and i do care. =) maybe its easier to talk to you on my blog, haha. should tell you to come my blog and read lorhh. haha. need to go sleep liao. waking up at 4.30 tmw heh. but just want to tell you something k?
i use to care and i still do.
nothing can ever change my feeling towards you.
10.51 pm 19.02.2006
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Thursday, February 16, 2006
: 8:08:00 PM :
天灰
如果你不再出现
我的世界 还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验 什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会 觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁
there! this song says it all how im feeling. esp the chorus. its quite a sadd song. but i lyk it lots. =) hais, at first was so not worried but very excited bout obs. then during the items to bring briefing, starting worring bout lots and lots of stuff. esp how in the world am i going to communicate with my watch. when i carn even connect with my class. sigh. but on the way home i realised that, precisely because of these kind of problems that im going for the camp.. haha. i sound lame. anyways, i wanted to play the piano one lorhh. but my mum told me off. and i think shes gonna ban me from playing the piano if i continue my piano craze. haha. so now i ended up sitting in front of the comp, blogging and eating a piece of kuih.
hmm, and at long last, im adknowledging that what sock once told me is true. so true. thank you my dearest squadmates. you ppl are truly good friends. really wonderful life-long squadmates. =]
let's hope that there's no relief lessons for tmw. i dun want to take my maths test tmw. i'll flunk cause everything has leaked out of my brain liao. haha. cerebral spinal fluid. okay okay. got lots to do. bye bye.
i did what i did. no one can survive on a diet of hope. maybe i shouldnt.
let's live and let live. i'll not cross your path. the road you walked. the direction you went. we'll go our own ways. colour the story of our own lives. cause we're different. i've learn to accept this. i can never be like you. and you'll never be like me.
its has really been a long time since that i had any power to choose my limited choices. i've grown up much much more than i realised. letting go and forgetting bout certains events and things din seem as hard as it was before. whats most important, is that i took things in my stride and learn to take things at a easier, less-stressed pace.
9.00 pm 16.2.2006 今天天空有点灰, 落叶的季节..
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006
: 9:13:00 PM :
霍元甲
呵 生死状 赢了什么 冷笑着
天下谁的 第一又如何 止干戈 我辈尚武德
我的 拳脚了得 却奈何 徒增虚名一个
江湖难测 谁是强者 谁争一统武林的资格
小城里岁月流过去
清澈的勇气 洗涤过的回忆
我记得你 骄傲的活下去
霍霍 霍霍霍 霍霍霍 霍家拳的套路招式灵
活活活 活活活 活活活 活着生命就该完整渡
过过过 过过过 过过过 过错软弱从来不属于
我我我 我我我 我我我 我们精武出手无人能躲
呵 命有几回合 擂台等着 生死状 赢了什么 冷笑着
天下谁的 第一又如何 止干戈 我辈尚武德
我的 拳脚了得 却奈何 徒增虚名一个
江湖难测 谁是强者 谁争一统武林的资格
小城里岁月流过去
清澈的勇气 洗涤过的回忆
我记得你 骄傲的活下去
霍霍 霍霍霍 霍霍霍 霍家拳的套路招式灵
活活活 活活活 活活活 活着生命就该完整渡
过过过 过过过 过过过 过错软弱从来不属于
我我我 我我我 我我我 我们精武出手无人能躲
我以为世上的武术确实没有高低之分
只有行为人才有强弱之别
不过竞技我们可以发现和认识
一个真正的自己
因为我们真正的对手可能就是你自己。
霍霍 霍霍霍 霍霍霍 霍家拳的套路招式灵
活活活 活活活 活活活 活着生命就该完整渡
过过过 过过过 过过过 过错软弱从来不属于
我我我 我我我 我我我 我们精武出手无人能躲
霍霍 霍霍霍 霍霍霍 霍家拳的套路招式灵活
活活 活活活 活活活 活着生命就该完整渡
过过 过过过 过过过 过错软弱从来不属于
我我我 我我我 我我我 我们精武出手无人能躲
小城里岁月流过去
清澈的勇气 洗涤过的回忆
我记得你 骄傲的活下去,下去
arlo. i want to watch huo yuan jia! its suppose to be a bery nice show heh. haha. in s'pore its a nc 16 movie. muahaha. but in m'sia its alright! anyway, the government doesnt even care about customs checks and stuff, you think they'll care stuffying lyk movies?? haha. im gonna nag my da jie buy the vcd! haha. =] sighs. there's so much i want to say. but i'll take my whole life to write.
oof. but there's definately something worth alot mentioning! total defence parade' 06! haha. the parade actually is pian ren one lorhh. the only commands that we have to do are sedia, senang diri and ke kenan lurus. sounds stoopid rite? but who cares. im gonna earn a badge from that provided that i go for some lecture thingy after that. not late today so thank god din kena punishment. but there's still the horrible stoning part. but lucky nobody got faint or anything. oh, and somebody looks chao shuai when they wear their u! im lyk totally laughing lyk madd to myself. =] lalala.
hmm, and somebody pon their lesson today apparently and i caught her on the bus. hor hor. naughty gal. =] but im just as happy to see her.
i got tons of things to do. but i always lyk dunno which one to start doing. then starting from this week whenever i cannot decide, i'll go and play the piano! dunno suddenly why i lyk to paly the piano so much. maybe cause its nice to play the songs that you lyk instead of those silly classicial ones that the rest of the world also plays.
oof. dun ask too much bahh. valentine's day this year was badd till this point. i cried that day lorhh. lyk who in the world would cry on valentine's day? so weird. oh, and i learnt another thing today. im just day dreaming about what i hope will happen. guess you'll never take notice of me one. both of you.
10.15 pm 15.2.2006
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, February 11, 2006
: 3:09:00 AM :
ello. what a crazy week. though yesterday thursday feels lyk only monday; and today just feels lyk tuesday. haha. maybe its cause my isolated little island doesnt exist anywhere on the earth nor the world map. so there's lyk more than 24 hours in a day. hahaa.
warning : the contents below are long and might be boring from your point of view.
oh and i suddenly came to this conclusion while spending my recess in the toilet with miss tan jiamin who was going crazy all over the place. anyway, the conclusion is that i will not need maps nor need to know how to read them if i have a satelite phone with me when i get lost in the forest! so the final conclusion is that everyone who hates or simply just cannot read maps, or hates geog should buy a satelite phone! and the very final conclusion is : then everyone can ditch geog! hahaa. aiya. i just hate geog lahh. and some more next week onwards will have extra lesson every tues. i do not wish to accept this fact can. even next week have lorhh. valentine's day heh! how can liddat?! so mean. argh, i want to pon pon pon. =( i so do not want to spend my vday with my silly geog teacher. i cannot do geog one lorhh. geog's a very practical subject, yes. and im a arts person not maths and science person. so im not practical cause creativity simply just doesnt fall into the category of sensiblity. hahaa. thus, i cannot do geog! haaha. im talking plain rubbish. just ignore me. i want to make my self happy, self-entertainment.
hmm, the upper half of today was badd and the rest was actually good. anyway, i just got damn irritated by the freaking idiotic guys in my class. i think im gonna hurl my chinese dictionary across the room right smack into the next dumb ball who gets into my nerves. no more shouting or slamming tables liao. gahh. im so sick of all these. =( eww. why are all guys so irritating? i think my big brother's the only nice guy alive currently now! =] oh and i forgot to wish him happy birthday too! 5th feb. quite long liao. and also wishing lcpl rebaca, 9th feb happy birthday too!
haha, anyway went out to eat lunch with 2 other ppl. got lost on the way back. fell down today and ended up with abrasions and a big patch of contusion on my left upper upper thigh. pain pain. =( late for cca. but luckily din get killed. haha, but cca was real fun! the sec 1 ones came for their first cca today! haha, and i share a sec 1, hui tingwith my sec 2, meiling. =] haha, huiting has a good attitude that's why i choose her. haha. its very very obvious who's enthu and who's not. first cca always tell alot of things. hmm, played ice-breaker, wacko + dog and bone. hahaa, dog and bone very funn! we were all acting lyk crazy ppl, haha. aiya, but my group lost so must forfeit, do the banana dance.
whoa. i blogged alot. should i continue? hmm, no lahh. i very lazy liao. feel lyk playing warcraft. okay, bye bye. =)
11.15 pm 10.2.2006
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
: 9:42:00 PM :
麦芽糖
这蜿蜒的微笑拥抱山丘 溪流跟风唱起歌
我像田园诗人般解读眼前的生活 (你好)
麦田弯腰低头在垂钓温柔这整座山谷都是风笛手
我在哑口聆听传说跟着童话故事走
远方的风车 远距离诉说 那幸福在深秋 满满的被收割
老仓库的角落 我们数着 一麻袋的爱跟快乐 初恋的颜色
我牵着你的手经过 种麦芽糖的山坡
香浓的诱惑 你脸颊微热 吐气在我的耳朵
摘下麦芽糖熟透 我醒来还笑着
开心的 被黏手 我满嘴 都是糖果
牵着你的手经过 种麦芽糖的山坡
甜蜜的四周 我低头害羞 我们愉快的梦游
我在草地上喝着 麦芽糖酿的酒
鲜嫩的 小时候 我好想 再咬一口
＜泰语＞我爱你～
我满嘴 都是糖果
我好想 再咬一口
haha, i just noticed + found out that jaychou got this song from his newest album. haha. im always so slow to notice nice songs. yes, its a very carefree and happy song. its the way i feel towards things between you and me now. and this way before i starting crying cause of a silly non-existant reason. haha, non-exixtant reason. and precisely its a non-existant reason is that i noticed later that you're different. and as i got to know you better and better. i realised that you'd never ever do that kind of thing. haha. and that's that's why i'd feel this happy carefree way i am now. haha. you really brighten my life and my saddest days. you do. =) and i would want to tell you that face to face maybe some day in the near or far future. thanks. =]
its been a long time since i'd felt any real happiness,
all i can feel now honestly is contentment.
and appreciativeness.
of knowing that you'll forever be at my side.
10.05pm 8.2.2006 麦芽糖 =)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
: 10:24:00 PM :
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face
the boy grabbed her arm and said...
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
SO NOW I WILL SAY:
I like you because of who you are to me....A true friend
Remember:
A good friend will come bail you out of jail...
But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ...
WE screwed up!"
Proud to be your Friend!
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't
give us everything we ask for
I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell
is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.
What makes me think I can?
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work,
the more things I get done.
hmm, zijia just sent me this. i think it's so sweet. haha, sent it to loads of ppl. red berries! =]
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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: 9:27:00 PM :
silly ss, silly chem, silly geog.
oof. im so dead liao. blahh. ss re-test cause i missed the test, chem test on thurs, and geog test on tues. i dunno wha the chem teacher teaching. but i think i can manage to study myself one. but i just dont seem to have enough time. argh. prays miss phay will be absent tmw too. then i dont need to tell her i missed the ss test. sigh. i will so die for chem. im still stopping at elements, mixtures and compounds for my self revision! and he's gonna test seperation techniques and all those silly apparatus kinda stuff. bleargh. and i feel so not use to ss. then they all start studying ss at sec 2 already liao. then for the chapter that gonna be tested they already learn before liao, and their just revising. and im lyk way behind. sigh.
have cca tmw. we're gonna be making valentine's day present! wee. =) carn wait. should be fun heh. haha, making test tubes!!! is for selling on valentine's day or something one bahh. anyone want to order?? haha. maybe after i take a look liao and post some descriptions first. hope they turn out all fine. =) okay, gotta go study liao.
jiayou! =] cause you told me to. and i can feel it that you believe in me. thanks so much. hugs*
10.02 pm 7.2.2006
(cause i think apparently my blogger time and date has gone haywire)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Thursday, February 02, 2006
: 9:09:00 PM :
珊瑚海
海平面远方开始掩埋 悲伤要怎么平静纯白
我的脸上始终夹带 淹没浅浅的无奈
你用唇语说你要离开
情不在
他难过无声的留下来 汹涌潮水
一定明白 不是浪而是泪海
转身离开 认真说不出来
[你有话说不出来]
海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
我们的爱 争议一直存在
[给你的爱 爭议一直存在 回不來]
永久真爱 竟累积成伤害
[等待经历几次伤害]
转身离开 分手說不出來
蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此 不够成熟坦白
[你有我的 不够成熟坦白 不应该]
热情不在 笑容勉强不来
[你的笑容勉強不來]
爱深埋珊瑚海
毁坏的沙碉如何重来 有裂痕的爱怎么重盖
只是一切 结束太快 你说你无法释怀
贝壳里隐藏什么期待
等花儿开
我们也已经无心再猜
脸上海风，脸上海风，咸咸的爱，咸咸的爱，沉不出还有未来
hallo. i just discovered jay chou got this song. coral sea =). haha, its a very nice song. though its sounds a bit sadd. hmm, dont ask lahh. this week is just very very badd. and im in a horrible mood. blahh. esp today. ooh. and my da jie just told me there'll be a bug tmw online. as in virus lahh. every month on the 3rd. hmm, its in the news. ?! so wierddd. nvm. tmw cross-country. ooof. and i totally cannot remember anything. haha. but im in the main station. so good luck to me! =) lala. but i still haven revise yet. so yupps. im kinda dead. haha. nvm. okay, got lots more things to do. byee!
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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CREDITS |
-- HESITATING MEANS DEATH - the GazettE [Italian translation - angeldevil87@LJ]
[English translation - distressedcoma@LJ]
You, who know this pain, will soon plant the seeds here once again
You hope the flowers that changed their colours will bloom someday
You, who know this pain, could you pour water on them without trembling
The colourful flowers you have never seen are calling out for you again