色付いた花が咲く何時かを願う
その痛み知る君が震えずに水を注げた頃に
見た事の無い色の花がまた君を誘う
redberrie
19 +
04-06-1991
NP - BA - ISCM - 3S01
ex-assumptionknight
<33! |
Monday, May 31, 2010
: 7:55:00 AM :
i am so emo and negative that i think i srsly need rehabbb prrreaaassee.
and all the caffeine in the world to boost my morale.
despite having some sleep. i had difficulty rolling out of bed today.
da jie says i look tired.
and i was counting my savings againn. and they seem liek they can never ever hit the SGD $1500 mark.
so pathetic. still say i wanna go europe and go finland. T_____T
i shall reframe from going out too much for the mid vacation. IF I CAN SURVIVE TILL THEN.
please remind me to wish jiawei a happy birthday tonight. :) i'll always try to wish ppl whose birthdays are near mine. cause it seems to me that we have an unusual/uncommon birthday time slot, that not alot of ppl's birthday lands on these few days. ><"
peter's birthday is up next! 7th june. havent decided whether to go anot. but i know i should. (*3*) but my wallet's crying. I CAN JUST HEAR IT.
and i'd really liek to meet you for once in my life. >////<"
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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: 12:58:00 AM :
im upset angry disappointed annoyed with ppl because of groupwork againn.
sucks ttm please.
awesome. the day that i'll totally stop believing in friends is not far off.
in the meantime, take friendship with a pinch of salt, vinegar, pepper and glint of silver.
cause the world.
is either made up of brainless retards.
or those that will stab you in the back one of these days.
oh gawd. we need an apocalyse to 're-set' the world. liek now.
ZZZZZ.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, May 29, 2010
: 2:52:00 AM :
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Wednesday, May 26, 2010
: 8:06:00 AM :
i wanna skippp skippppp skippppppppp wisppppppp. GRAHHH. how how how! the homeworkSSSS. i can never finish them one! DAMNNNN. despite how much time we have. *points up but FAINTS* life feels so crazy nowadays. :\
tiger beer is liek damn bitter please! liek drinking cough medicine! DD: despite the fact that i was so enthusiastic to have free flow beer and to liek really try various kinds out.. and i still told shunqing that i wanted to try lots of them! ><" oh, i was drinking pure tiger beer without any mix of stuffs.. i did ALMOST finish my 1 mug of it.. left abit though. DD: but lance let me try another one! i think it was anchor beer! (*A*) that one was so much better and less bitter! :DD i find it acceptable! :) but i still liek heineken + 7-up best. 8DD cause it tastes like shandy. (*A*) hahahahahs. but with that, im still really not a beer person. ;;A;;
HOMEWORKS HOWWWSSS? i love your hearts idol-san! THANK YOUUUU! <33 :DD
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, May 23, 2010
: 12:01:00 AM :
i hate IS modules. it's official. oh gawdd, and there's still the epic philosophical WISP essay. and i pretty much spent the entire day doing EPM. just so wth lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. freaking waste of time can. and the teacher only gave us full information on such a heavy weightage assignment that requires so much work in actually hunting for managers to interview, crafting questions, etc.
so much theory also wont really help when im really managing ppl. T______T nothing beats personal experience. liek group work. so sick of group work already please. and everytime im liek putting in so much effort for groupwork and i sometimes the way i see things; i cant help but really wonder if other mates really put in as much effort as i did. and i'll liek end up forfeiting my own performance in my individual assignments. IT'S JUST SO SHITTY CANN. SO SICK OF THISSS.
yeahh, liek ranting here will make any difference in this pathetic life. goodbye. so frustrated. i only really wanted to put in my best and do my individual work.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, May 22, 2010
: 10:47:00 AM :
shall try and have a good fruitful day.
doing a good fruitful day's of work.
:)
these few days have been spent browsing deviantart alot! :D
lots of awesome pictures. :]
im gonna slowly share lots of them in my posts! 8D
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Friday, May 21, 2010
: 10:01:00 PM :
feeling stressed up all over againn today. :C
yesterday was still kinda fine. ><"
but it (the stressss) all rolled back againn today. D:
and i have an epic short fuse.
get ticked off very easily by things that ppl do, that i feel are ZZZ.
and i got abit annoyed with myself too. it certainly doesnt seem to pay much to be too nice in this day and age. and for that, today, i ended feeling abit idiotic since there was no need for my presence at all. T____T well, it was because of this that ticked of all of the badd things today actually. ><" arghh.
tum tum didnt feel very well for the later part of the day. think must be because i didnt wash my hands clean before touching food directly and eating with bare hands. :C and that's why i packed lots of fruits down into my tum tum upon reaching home. i have the tendency to put fruits into tum tum when it's not feeling very well. cause i think fruits will help abit. :DD 4 pieces of nangka and 2 mini apples. :) i should hold my horses when sprinkling salt on my apples. i tend to go overboard. @.@
have been eating alot lately. kept feeling hungry. :C and i finally had my double quarter pounder macs yesterday! :D BEEF AND CHEESE! pretty awesome! felt very contented! so much so that i didnt want to so fast shovel my dinner down into my tum tum cause i wanna keep the nice double quarter pounder feel in my tum tum. (*A*) and the chicken for dinner was pretty good. better than what i had expected, judging from the looks of it.
and againn, lately i easily feel sleepy when im full and when i decided that im gonna stop eating for the day. ><" sound pretty pig pig. ><" eeps.
and it makes me happy when im browsing supermarkets that have a section for imported foodstuffs from liek korean, japan, taiwan or some other unknown countries! cause the foodstuffs look so cool! albeit expensive. ><" but very interesting. :D but i never really see any finland food. D: or salmiakki. :C
anyways, the supermart thing happened when i was trying to shop for covered shoes! feel liek buying the lemon vinegar drink from taiwan.. ><" but think i'll probably need the ringgit for other stuffs. and couldnt find any shoes i liked. shoes are getting uglier and uglier these days. :C arghh, so much harder to find something i liek and can actually fit in fine and look nice in it. ended up buying earrings instead! they look smiliar to my small round silver circles earrings, but they're black! with a dragon motif! :D
this is turning into a long long narration. and yes, im sleepy. (*A*)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Tuesday, May 18, 2010
: 2:46:00 AM :
really thought i wanted to die today. so tired. just want to faint on the roadside cann. (>A<)" HAIS.
i mean, yesterday.
is still tired now! ><"
but thank you ppl that were supportive yesterday!
idol, mr life saver, eshlyn, shihui! :DD
it's awesome to wake up and check my deviantart messages to see idol's messages!
&hearts&hearts.
i wish someone would be equally obsessed talking with me when she goes to shopping, or is nervous, or wants to tell me how her work day is! >D:
so friend of friend! do appreciate it! cause im jealous! >///<" hahahahs. and get well soon. :)
i feel like going back to bed. 8(
really cant be bothered about law already.
already expanded so much of my effort already.
IM NOT A LAW STUDENT. :DD
arghh, so stop wasting my time, law module. *facepalms*
i wanna run off from lesson after my presentation!
OHOHOHO.
lots of love for idol! <3>
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, May 16, 2010
: 9:58:00 PM :
you can't right? you can't of course.
there would be so much more less frustration in the world if we can all really 'hear' each other.
still so much work to do~
arghhh, so many cases for fob! im at a loss as to which one to pick. :x
fas also. not sure what to pick also.
im having trouble lately. in deciding what to wear to school.
tmw releasing at 3pm! but im having WISP meeting at 5pm. ><"
shall try and get work done during that period. *nods*
today, i ate 2 small apples! sprinkled with salt.
somehow im reminded by SID's Shinji's entry where he ate tomatoes. sprinkled with salt. and drinking alcohol too.. ?
a rather queer xia jiu cai. XDD
bye bye! you're rooting for me right idol? :) hahahahs.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, May 15, 2010
: 11:11:00 PM :
it's 11 : 11 pm!
at least it was just now!
i admit i was quite angry, quite upset, quite annoyed, quite depressed, quite confused.
just now.
i think i made eileen angry.
not sure how to reply her message. but i dont wanna apologise either.
apologise cause im putting in my best for my final year in poly? and the modules arent easy either. that's ridiculous. :x
weekdays take up so much energy travelling (liek 4h30mins). and trying to focus during lessons. and getting some sort of work done at nights. and always trying to grab enough sleep.
weekends, i like to keep it for myself. for some normalcy.
not that im evilly selfish or anything. i go out too during holidays. and at short notices by her too.
keziaa says i should give myself a break. go out with friends cause they're impt too.
but the problem is! i think im already having too much breaks being too slack with myself! i need more self-discipline!
arghh, just look at the way xiangyu and leeping complete their tasks! they are really such incredible role models. *nods* always very consistent in their hard work and quality too.
you know? that day my Y2 ISCM junior, zhen zhao asked me why is our course so stressful. and idk how to answer him also. it feels like someone's asking me why the earth is round. hahahahs, i told him to go and ask mr ng thiam chye, our course manager. XDD and lance made a random comment that mr ng feels less uptight nowadays. :p anyways, another random note; that mr william told us that he still feels that our class is the best ISCM batch. hahahs, actually abit happy to hear that. the 'hard work is being acknowledged' kinda feel.
to everyone who's going to ask me out during schooltime. im sorry if i rejected you. or that i will be rejecting you.
but with all the things that's going on in my life. family stuffs, financially, all those duties and obligations, whatever life experience i have gathered myself.
my work is impt to me. i cannot be failing twice again.
with that! i shall go back to my law. seriously reading it. even though it's a very slow process. and i feel that my time is being cheated!! (>A<)" i must complete it tonight. die die need to. :x
there's still abit of coffee left. and a chicken egg burger that that ive asked da jie to buy for me.
and i just read all the SID's members recent translated blog posts just now! :DD i enjoy reading them. :p hmms, maybe it's just me. but i think im starting to write abit likemao-san lately. sometimes. but i dont think it's a badd thing. :)
work hard everyone! it's necessary for the future! (*A*) i wanna go finland!
so random, hahahs.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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: 9:23:00 PM :
" Life throws many curveballs. It's a difficult game to play, but one has to keep playing. Life can be hard, life can put you in a place you don't want to be. You have to let your flower bloom no matter what. You are the boss of your own destiny, you control everything that you do. So persevere, no matter how adverse the circumstances. Grow, and bloom, even if the world around you seems to be doing all it can to prevent it. Even in the middle of the darkest wastelands, beauty exists. "
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Tuesday, May 11, 2010
: 4:01:00 PM :
Panadol Flu medicine! im so tempted to popp the entire strip down liek candies. cause the 1st 2 that i took at around 1.15 pm + didnt seem to be working on my body. :x took another 1 at 3.20 pm.
wore 3 layers today somemore. red domo-kun shirt + black vest + checkered white-base jacket and black short skirt. but still sneezed!!! ;;A;; please get well soon ferly! ><"
honey waffle is nice. 8DD it looks so prettily made. the waffle. :) thank you auntie. :) it made me happy. :)) hahahs. even though i cant really taste the honey. but can smell the honey smell. XDD
*riyanti is staring at my entry!* 8DD hahahahs. she feels like eating waffle too! :p
law module is scary. today will die die need to complete CBM Practical 2. OS is ihavenoideahowtodotutorial2. :x but i shall tackle it later.
good amount of support and motivation have been flowing in these few days! thank you idol and jiayi and everyone that told be get well soon! :3 it's a good feeling to know that ppl are concerned about you. :) mao-san's blog entry too!! - >> http://id-iot-s.livejournal.com/2921357.html
thank you. i will work hard. :) with mr coffee-san too! (*A*)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Monday, May 10, 2010
: 10:09:00 PM :
i dont liek to fall sick!
cause i cant eat what i liek!
cant drink what i liek!
cant blast the fanspeed!
cant bath with cold cold water!
cant focus well!
cant breathe properly!
feel more tired and moody than i already am during school days!
ferly, faster get well please! ><"
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Sunday, May 09, 2010
: 3:34:00 PM :
*facepalms + headdesks the law tutorial question.. *
IM LIEK TOTALLY WHAT AND WAHT AND WHUTTT!!?
*FAINTS*
okays, positive-ness!! i will try to finish it by today. OH GAWD. really. will need to try. and read and understand liek mad.
anyways, dont think i'll be able to fall asleep well wither. cause i drank too much coffee in a sense. ><"
so maybe an all-nighter againn. OHOHOHO.
dearest law groupmates. please tell me that you guys have AT LEAST been flipping through the textbook and gleaning through bits that are relevant. DD8
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Saturday, May 08, 2010
: 6:45:00 PM :
it is extremely extremely difficult for me to stay positive all the time. there's at least once in 2 days that i'll feel GRAHHH FreakkML. it really doesnt help when family are acting liek tards. i wonder how others do it. :x being all positive everyday when they wake up.
HAHAHS. i think no one will want to marry me. i have too ridiculous and flighty a temper. XDD
still, it's a good thing to know how to do it. talking about postive-ness will undoubtly remind me of SID. 8) those post-major days they went through. really very pei fu. *NODS* i would want to be able to look back on my life when im 30 years old and know that i did my best with the shit i had in hands! anyways, Rain's full version is lovely. (*A*) have been listening to it alot whilst those hateful bus-ing trips to school. Aikagi as well. and Sleep too. :) as well as those pumped up OP's and soothing ED's from FMA -Brotherhood-.
this week has been tiring! but ive been trying hard to focus for most lessons since school started! shall continue to do so. :) MUST, RIGHT!
i shall try and maintain a very positive and hardworking attitude this weekend. there's lots to be done. really. LOADS.
ive still got a reealllyyy longgg wayyy till i can become a good hardworking consistent worker.
shall do my best for this evening! cause my fate really depends upon it.
everyone who's struggling with stuffs as well, jiayous too okays! :)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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Thursday, May 06, 2010
: 12:27:00 AM :
HAI.
omg, tired tired! im literally squinting at the screen.. (._.)" taking a break from doing CBM practical 1.. it can be late for all i care. T_____T but i swear that mr ho said last week that it was due latest thursday and not wednesday. unless he made some sort of grammar mistake on mel. or that he just decided to push it forward. T_____T but i prefer doing a piece of work decently and be late rather than anyhow do just to meet the dateline.
and ive decided to drop book prize tmw. :x cause im reeaalllyyy tired. :x but mentally, i supposed ive been slightly better since the law presentation. :) so strange reasons not very weel-known to me, mr william thinks our group did an impressive good job. 8DD okays, maybe it's just me that felt that my part wasnt well-executed at all. :x cause, it's liek. i can feel the vibe from the class from my 1st slide that they didnt get wtheck i was rambling about.. ><" oh wells. at least we didnt get gunned down on the frontlines.. ><" pray that we'll perform just as well for all the following law presentations.
wednesdays are pretty lax actually. :) i liek WISP and EPM lessons! :) cause it doesnt take that much to keep constant focus on the lesson. XDD WISP feels somewhat like language arts jumbled in with current affairs and issues, and that we're not restricted to discuss about things just only related to the literature textbook. :) and mr michael is a pretty awesome teacher, me thinks. 8DD but i think i still enjoy mrs ng's lessons too. XDD as in, this kind of lessons are only really fun and interactive if you have teachers with a good knowledge base about the world and stuffyings. and that, you enjoy this kinda discussions. pretty glad to be in his class. :)) but still pretty stuck for our group's discrimination presentation. as in, i dont want our presentation to be just liek what the rest of the 3845864987 groups are gonna roughly do.. because i somehow have this feel that everyone's presentation might just more or less go through the similiar things.. hmms, thought of some new ideas. but not sure whether they'll work anot. :x think i'll need to think my idea more thoroughly over the weekend. ><"
EPM! mr edmund's lectures are liek storytelling time! so it's pretty easy to follow and listen. :) and there's free biscuits too okays! 8DD but he's really strict about punctuality. :x which me and riyanti shall try to abide by eating our lunch faster. ><" and we made our groupings today! in an interesting wayy, but really frank and down-to-earth wayy. *nods* but for unknown reasons and lots of giggling and excitement.. leeping nearly pushed me headfirst onto another unknown guy classmate.. who was just standing right smack in front of the white board.. which mr edmund was leaning on.. @.@ lucky i caught my balance in time. DD8
oh. and ive been getting lots of wounds for myself. ><" arghh. and my body ache seems liek it totally didnt fade off since last thursday.. ><" and im tired! tired! tired! and im pretty lazy to type anymoarr. :x see you!
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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CREDITS |
-- HESITATING MEANS DEATH - the GazettE [Italian translation - angeldevil87@LJ]
[English translation - distressedcoma@LJ]
You, who know this pain, will soon plant the seeds here once again
You hope the flowers that changed their colours will bloom someday
You, who know this pain, could you pour water on them without trembling
The colourful flowers you have never seen are calling out for you again