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色付いた花が咲く何時かを願う
その痛み知る君が震えずに水を注げた頃に
見た事の無い色の花がまた君を誘う
redberrie
19 +
04-06-1991
NP - BA - ISCM - 3S01
ex-assumptionknight
<33! |
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
: 2:15:00 AM :
hahas, dont ask me what im doing here. XDD
btw, thanks truckloads to everyone who cared on last friday! :) jonathan buddy! leepy! peter! LDG peeps! :)) and most imptly keziaaa! yayy!! im convinced that keziaaa's the BEST! :DD
and i think i did my best for BCA team assignment! :) and i customized another pretty ruby RED layout! :) and thank kews once more, xiangyu! ;]
but BCA practical test was really.. hahas, diee!! =XX anyways, it's over le so must stop thinking bout it.
and im really glad for my astats test results! =p go ferly!! you may loathe maths, but you're not dumb hehhs! XDD
today had macs with keziaaa at kap! :) while watching code blue ep 2! hahas, shall keep quiet bout someone's hair. :) and later we moved to gardenvista's club house to do work!! and the environment is really really great, gives me the study atmosphere. :]
and hahas, lyk what someone said, i am kinda hooked to NEWS. :) they strike me as a mini choir! :DD and tesshi's the best! his voice's the best, i feel. and he's the youngest? XDD okays okays, pipi berrie good too. =p but i just cant help but lyk to poke funn at him. and i got koyama and ryo mixed up! XDDD goshh, so funny. and I·ZA·NA·I·ZU·KI's my current favourite favourite! :DD and weeeek's an incredible bouncy cheery song! =p cause it managed to cheer me up last friday ehh. i lyk tegomass songs! they're nice! and pi's gomen ne juliet's pretty, esp the lyrics of the rapping part. ^^
and i think i own more tutorials than the whole world put together.. :C i shall go do CATS now. glups*
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Sunday, July 27, 2008
: 4:01:00 AM :
just some thoughts..
im really confused.
how exactly is forgiveness sought?
how exactly do we forgive them?
how exactly should we forgive ppl?
does everyone forgive only due to time.. they forget?
or do ppl review their 'forgiveness' marksheet every now and then to check and see whether has that person met a certain quota of actions?
why are some forgiven and some not, when both parties have committed the same mistakes?does a person's character come into consideration on whether will they be forgiven?
or do you just base it on your entire experience of being/knowing that person?
is there anyone deep down in your heart that you've never truly forgiven?
isnt it rather sad and terribly scary to know that there's someone who wont forgive you for what you have done?
but i really dont know how to forgive sometimes, some ppl.
im really scared of being hated/disliked due to not contributing enuf for things lyk project work nowadays.
i feel there's a barrier.
i dont know why.
im just really bothered.
ive been 2nd-guessing my own actions alot.
cause i think im a super judgemental person myself, at times.
ferly's desperate to prove that she's not a zebra?
well, who isnt.
sorrys groupmates bout IFF term paper. i really didnt do a decent job.
sorrys eileen for pang-sehh-ing you last friday.
sorrys xiangyu for constantly badgering for you to ask for BCA help.
and i will try and behave for BCA Term Paper.
i just feel that ive been relying alot on others lately. and i dont really enjoy 'stealing' off ppl's effort.
i just want to say sorrys to everyone!! [excluding family & zebras] BOWS DEEPLY*
i dont know why, i feel that i own others others alot.
forgiveness feels lyk one of the hardest things to seek andthe hardest to give to someone.
we just cant get away.
we just cant get our way.
we're just being silent now.
cause it's too far away.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Thursday, July 24, 2008
: 8:30:00 PM :
just how far have i walked
if I look back behind me, i'll find a trail of tears
i got hurt, and lashed out in turn
and now i've finally reached this place where you are
such a thing as love
it's only you
who always demands for too much
such a thing as love
if i don't have you then there's no meaning to life
then i wont be able to live
do you truly love me with your heart?
even now, i feel insecure..
on my own, i reached that place within my dreams
and when i got there, you were there, shivering
don't cry
i wont ever let you go
even it it means that i'll throw everything away
even something like the future
i cant see it at all if you're not here
i don't want that at all
the morning rays of sunlight
shone upon your sleeping face and i smiled, embarassed
because we were happy then
i wish that the love i felt during those days
would continue forever
such a thing as love
it's only you
who always demands for too much
such a thing as love
if i don't have you then there's no meaning to life
then i wont be able to live
no matter how much i love you, it seems like it's never enough
even something like the future
i cant see it at all if you're not here
i don't want that at all
how i wish somebody could understand how i feel.
everything.
the likes.
the dislikes.
the love.
the unhapiness.
the hatred.
the anger.
the betrayed.
when is enough truly enough?
the answer?
never.
" Maybe one day, I'll come back for you again (: "
in the meantime, let the rain fall.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
: 3:19:00 AM :
GOSH. i dont wanna study! i wanna fiddle with my object dock thingy!! it's lyk damn cool lahh! :DD thank kews peiling!! :)) i shall do that after astats..
but in the meantime, i shall shut up and do my BCA case 10. =XX yuck yuck, they're getting harder and harder.
to do list :
1) fiddle with objectdock
2) do INTENSIVE IFF research for term paper
3) do BCA term paper
4) eat kfc with keziaaa :DD
5) FINISH ALL my stale homework & tutorials
6) INTENSIVE MUGGING for exams
i will cut down on anime. nods* and mug hardd cause i dont wanna have UGLY scores. and i dont want to be retained.
and most imptly, i will keep my temper in check! :) and be optimistic and SELF-MOTIVATED. :) and make full use of whatever time there is left. :)
jiayous ferly! :] i hope i can scrape a pretty good score for astats later. grits teeth*
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Sunday, July 13, 2008
: 4:54:00 PM :
quick post!
thursday was fine. CATS was surprisingly boring. the quiz was stoopid yeahh. and dance later was the best lesson ever so far. XDD gosh, pork and beef really know their stuff and steps. =p learnt bout wigs in cosplay. hahas, togusa really looks ermms, bit sweet in a pink wig. XDD and thanks to kezia for lending me the soe shirt. will return to you asap. :) oh and thanks for the tako too! =p jocelyn found a way to pronounce 'ferlyl'. and i lyk it alot! hahs. :DD offered to lent her usa-chan for her pink photoshoot. :DD
friday's nothing much. thought the Jurong Port visit was rather dumb and boring. couldnt help but fell asleep at times. but the blue cranes and boxes were pretty awesome. :)
saturday's talk bout how to make presentations was ehehe.. kinda lame too. fell asleep at times too, whoops. and got caught by shunqing. later stayed back for logistics ppt. helped kelly with case 8. chatted a little while with kailin and reminded her to go take graduation certitficate. hope she's doing well. :) got the song that peiling and leeping wanted, Flavour of Life by Utada Hikaru from kezia. both the normal version and the ballad verison. it's really nice, yupps. :) groupmates and me left sch at 10pm with pretty much the whole ppt done!! beams* hope that classmates will understand tmw's presentation. :)
oh and bro just came home from his SIM camp. and he looks lyk a lobster, prawn, chansey whatever! he's just red!! baddly sunburnt! :C and he has quite a lot of injuries~!! scratches and stuff! O_O sobs*
gotta fly now!! the ppt's still needs lotsa touch-ups. pouts*
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
: 10:14:00 PM :
wee!! (: sch today was a total fiasco~!! :DD not for me of course. but HELL, i'd be totally lying if i say that i dont enjoy watching soap dramas and operas. whoops, pardon me dearest classmates. BOWS* but ultimately, i think the verdict was okays hehh. ohh, and 1 other good thing came out of it!! hahas, xanier and me finally made a proper conversation!! :)) well, she so rarely talks to me you know.. pouts*
came home early and ended up fighting with family againn. DAMNIT. fought with er jie and dad. actually is my er jie pms and started it first. then dad came and kpo. ahhs, and i actually felt abit better after letting off the steam. :) cause i got to say some stuff that i would normally never say, ahahs. but godd knows, my er jie really deserves to be slapped. she's turning into a complete bitch. ZZZZZ. and what's worse my parents always side with her. HATE THIS HOUSE. HATE THIS FAMILY. gahh. freaking unfair. rants on and on and on*
so shit lahh cann~!! be it sch or home, they both feel lyk some crazy battle field. yeahh, and the fights never seem to end?! goshh. :C
install macromedia dreamweaver today! done in less than 30 mins!! berrie fast and efficient IT department np has. nods nods*
peiling came late againn today! overslept! and miss faith didnt come today againn!! wtheck, how come peiling always seem to be late on teh right mornings?! (._____.) hahahs!
and i will refrain from going toilet with leeping anymore. DAMNIT, she scared me twice today lahh!! and once more during last week. in total, 3 times. pouts* she'll walk in front of me and hide behind some blind spot/wall.. and when i pass by, she'll hop out and yell and thus, give poor ferly a fright. (._____.) hard not to avoid fainting one of these days. hmphh.
finally helped buddy jonathan collect immigration stuffyings and brochures. hope they will help! :) and everyone tells me my buddy has some sorta problem! XDDD
kinda look forward to CATS on thursday!! i mean, i love discussion sessions with ruiling! =p
that's all! :) take care everyone!!
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Saturday, July 05, 2008
: 3:50:00 PM :
HEELOS! :DD
ahahs, honestly my results in school are getting from badd to worse. all rolling downhill. gosh, dont i just love gravity?
school lately has been even more kinda streesssfulll. with the 'politics' atmosphere in class and lists flying around. why why why? why do stuff lyk severe classroom politics always happen in whichever class i land in? O_O but i do have to admit that i enjoy the guilty pleasure of ahems ahems* discussing. it feels so much better rather than bottling everything up. thanks to those who had lent ferly a listening ear. ^^
but eventually, ppl will start to get tired/bored of listening to the same list of complains no?
dakara, ferly will be a good girl and stop all discussions starting from next week. no, a fully-fledged war doesnt do anyone any good.
sighs* i dont want to care anymore. since ppl lyk you just irk me with their presense.
lunch on friday with leeping, peiling, xiangyu and jonathan. we all ate bentos from canteen 4! jonathan buddy really put too much cong in my miso. T_____T and his horrid habit of cutting/interrupting my words strongly reminds me of yangmeng's suaning during CATS. ZZZ. think should have more organised lunches during friday. :)
internet connection at home sucks real badd. crops up everytime i wanna do proper work! :C
shall do peiling's quiz now. but i'm not gonna tag anyone hehhs.
1. What is my favourite colour?
- it changes everyday and now and then. but lately, i've been avoiding dark colours, esp blue. they make me feel more RAWWR with my life than it already is.
2. Where will you go if someone sponsors your tour trip?
- Japan. literally the whole country.
3. What are the favourite things that you like to do?
- sleep, eat, watch anime/reading manga and desserts!
4. Do you think that money can buy happiness?
- YUPPS.
5. If you have one dream to come true, what should it be?
- brainest, richest, prettiest person in the world, hahas.
6. Do you encourage girls to admit their love to the guys?
- ehehehs, i stay away from consulations regarding such topics.
7. What do you dream of doing in the future?
- seiyuu! :DD
8. List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
- NICE! smart! caring!
9. What makes you happy?
- watching anime! food! desserts! usa-chan! ryopi-chan!
10. What type of person do you hate most?
- hahas, berrie cliche question.. but come on, as humans we generally hate more or less the same genre of ppl. in additon to that, it would be ppl that i just kan bu shuang.
11. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
- still an anime/manga addicted person, with an okay job and nice colleagues. and living away from home! ^^ [prefably in japan!]
12. If you do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend, do you feel lyk having one now?
- not really. dont even have enough time for sch and myself.
13. Who is the most important person in your life?
- MYSELF. im essentially a selfish person, seriously.
14. If you have the chance to change your life, what would you lyk to change?
- should have worked harder during sec 1, honestly regretted it.
15. If you have the chance to re-live your life, would you live it the way you are living it now?
- maybe i would have chosen to go to St. Nicholas instead, or totally not come to spore at all.
16. Are courageous to tell a person that you lyk him/her?
- ermms, you mean confessing?! raises eyebrow* definitely NO. if normally to friends would be no prob, of course. (._____.)
17. Would you rather follow your heart or mind when deciding your right one?
- no idea. how would i know?!
18. What is it that you would lyk to do the most now?
- sleep!
19. Beauty or money?
- money!
btw, peiling!! your questions got 2 overlapped ones both asking bout impt persons.. (.____.) so i answered once only.
back to homework. and work hardd for your test on monday kays KEZIAAAA!! :DD
it all comes down the choices we make in life. those little weeny everyday decisions.
i do want to make the best out of my life. :)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
---
Thursday, July 03, 2008
: 11:50:00 PM :
ahh. i flipped out just now. cause bro was hogging the damn internet connection playing perfect world. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. and i yelled that the whole family is fan tong!! and my dad asked me to repeat my words. not in an angry tone or voice. i think he completely didnt get what i meant by 'fan tong'. goshh, hallelujah to this thing called AGE GAP. heckk, he doesnt even know i was scolding the whole darn family. T_______T
hais, ever since going up to poly.. my mood has been lyk damn SERIOUSLY DAMN BADD kays. i glare at almost everyone i see. poor customs workers and the ppl that have been accidentally whacked by my bogus but still berrie solid bagg. at the end of the day, i cant help but think that the greatest impact of travelling back and forth is that ive turned kinda terribbly independent and on the other hand, ive become atrociously selfish. RAWRR. anyways, thanks hushen and thanks eileen!! :DD arghh, squadmates are still the best, no? BEAMS*
CATS class is once againn funn, relaxation and crazy chit-chatting! and ruiling's in my group now!! :DD yangmeng has become more and more sarcastic lately and possibly just as self-obssesed with his pretty drawings and photos as ever. oh yeah, btw, he's NO GOOD, cause he's ng yang meng! farhan is as usual. ^^ and yihui had bought her own skates! they're yellow!! which kinda reminds me of pikachu for not much reason. XDD and everyone ordered sour sweets againn, hahas. :))
btw, what's up next?? of course! must do the quiz that peiling has tagged me to do. shall do later later later today. another note, i think sparks are gonna erupt today later, with permission given of course. i'll try not to be too nasty though, hees.
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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CREDITS |
-- HESITATING MEANS DEATH - the GazettE [Italian translation - angeldevil87@LJ]
[English translation - distressedcoma@LJ]
You, who know this pain, will soon plant the seeds here once again
You hope the flowers that changed their colours will bloom someday
You, who know this pain, could you pour water on them without trembling
The colourful flowers you have never seen are calling out for you again