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色付いた花が咲く何時かを願う
その痛み知る君が震えずに水を注げた頃に
見た事の無い色の花がまた君を誘う
redberrie
19 +
04-06-1991
NP - BA - ISCM - 3S01
ex-assumptionknight
<33! |
Thursday, August 26, 2010
: 11:37:00 PM :
arghh. it's here againn. say hello againn to this feeling of feeling ridiculously trapped by my own life, that makes me feel kinda frustrated. kinda emo. very broke. and very sad. ><"
with reference to keziaa's tweet.. broke broke broke. this year i feel so broke. cause i keep spending money on things. i paid for my own new phone. paid for own passport very recently. btw, when i mentioned that passport thingy; keziaa says she strongly thinks parents should be paying for that. hahahahs. :D glad to have her support. then she questioned me why was i paying for it myself since mother was intending to pay it for me but didnt have hard cash with her.. to which i answered that the two of them parents were giving me the impression that they were like tossing the ball to each other.. T___T i got kinda annoyed and just screamed that i'll pay for the damn thing myself.
i really dont like it. family planning. it's damn impt. if you married so maggot late in your age, then dont bite off more than you can chew. :\ meaning. dont give birth to so many kidds when you cant bring ALL OF THEM UP COMFORTABLY. arghh. let's not talk about this anymore. gets me grrr about things.
last night's dream was longg. it's kinda 2 part dream.
but it somehow involved father's room at his desk table, where there were strawberry & vanilla ice-cream wrapped/contained in some kinda flat-ish bread-made cone [!!?] in oblong long-ish transparent plastic wrapping on the table top. there were 2 oblongs of that btw, around 3 cones in each. I was with 'siblings' *no, they arent my real-life siblings, but in the dream i just somehow knew that they were my 'siblings'*.. at first, i was sitting down chatting and eating ice-cream with another sibling sister *which idk whether older or younger than me* later, my younger brother entered the room. *if you remember, im actually the youngest in the family in real life* he's quite grown up and good-looking :DD at some point around there, i stood up and asked him whether he wanted to sit down and asked him whether he wanted ice-cream too. oh, i think i picked a strawberry one to eat. and i can remember very strongly that he was standing behind me, and very closely on purpose as well. and i kinda jokingly told him off to back off or something, which he chuckled and later obliged after a few more light protests from me. *hahahs, adorable brother? :D* and i think he took a vanilla ice-cream. and the dream kinda drifted off and ended there. oh btw, the furnishing in father's room was a little different that in real-life too; his rocking chair wasnt there and there was a bookcase beside where the rocking chair would have been. but the interaction with that younger brother part was something i can remember really strongly.
the 2nd part dream was much more confusing. cant remember that well. but it somehow involved me catching sight of someone *it might be that sibling sister in the dream before or someone idk, cant be sure* running inside to some toilet *can remember strongly that it was the disabled ppl's toilet beside the one she ran in, hahas.* and she kinda told me that there were some 'infected/virus-ed' people which will turn into zombies [!!?] and i was supposed to contain them. O_O then i somehow got to the place where the zombie peeps were and i sealed the room's door with the uhh, broomsticks-put-through-across-the-door-handles method. *ermms, imagine door handles that are fashioned like cup handles and you stick the broom through the middle. yeaps.* but i felt pretty retarded later.. cause i peered in through the window after a while and realised that i only 'sealed' 1 of the 3 doors of the room. the other 2 doors were across, on the other side of the room. and the zombied broke out from the door that was diagonally across the sealed door. and i pretty much cant remember what happened. but the zombies really werent scary or anything though.. i cant remember about how they look and stuff at all actually.. ><" no idea why, but i didnt feel scared or panicky or any kind of feelings. i was like pretty calm throughout the whole of the 2nd part dream. but the room the that zombies were enclosed in, it was like my primary school music room except that there were actually only 2 doors on the same side *of the sealed door that side*..
and then i woke up for a little bit, and drifted back to sleep. there was a 3rd part. DDD: so longg right! but the 3rd part, i really couldnt remember stuff about it, except for the fact that there was a 3rd part hurr. ><"
wonder what dream i'll have tonight! suddenly quite excited about them. dreams, yeahh. hahahs. though they are stuff that are somewhat disjointed and random and make not much sense. hope my dreams lemme have dreams about really NAICEEE stuff once in a while! (*3*)
愛憎の狭間 夢を見ていた
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CREDITS |
-- HESITATING MEANS DEATH - the GazettE [Italian translation - angeldevil87@LJ]
[English translation - distressedcoma@LJ]
You, who know this pain, will soon plant the seeds here once again
You hope the flowers that changed their colours will bloom someday
You, who know this pain, could you pour water on them without trembling
The colourful flowers you have never seen are calling out for you again